Or, Look at Me, I'm So Prolific Today
On Dating:
10 in ’10, the goal
Hutaree, Creeps and their ilk
Screw it, I’m single.
On Drinking:
Margies taste so good
No fear of rickets today
Pass the salt, please
On Dog Training:
Sit, stay, leave it. Go!
Cuddle, scratch, love them madly.
Wait—man or beast? Both!
(Guess technically, this could be dating)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Be Careful What You Wish For
My friends like to put out in the universe good wishes and happy thoughts to help others obtain their aspirations. Kind of like our home grown version of The Secret.
When I (kind of) recently applied for a job they all wanted to be my karmic cheerleaders and I said no I didn’t want to use what could possibly be my one chance at universal intervention. I mean what if I someday wanted to make the guy I met at the Farmers’ Market my own or needed the really cool orange dress I saw at the resale shop to work well with my fine Cuban ass? I was more of the mindset of Doris Day singing Que Sera Sera. We’ll just see what happens.
Five weeks later, a catalog, countless fb, twitter and blog schemes I’m wondering about my sanity. Why wouldn’t I have asked for help? Well, because what if I got the job and it sucked? But, what if someone else gets the job and it doesn’t suck at all?
So, I guess I wait, wonder if someone is more clever than I, well, no I would never really wonder that—but there is something going on and I don’t know what it is and I guess that’s really what I don’t like about the whole thing. I work better with a clear understanding of the happs, my turn at the wheel or at the very least a polite never mind and thanks for playing along.
I do many things well, but waiting is not one of them. They say patience is a virtue, but then I’ve never been called virtuous. Make a decision already. Olive needs to get on to her next scheme.
Props to Sam The Bike Boy for the Conway Twitty, enjoy the Doris.
When I (kind of) recently applied for a job they all wanted to be my karmic cheerleaders and I said no I didn’t want to use what could possibly be my one chance at universal intervention. I mean what if I someday wanted to make the guy I met at the Farmers’ Market my own or needed the really cool orange dress I saw at the resale shop to work well with my fine Cuban ass? I was more of the mindset of Doris Day singing Que Sera Sera. We’ll just see what happens.
Five weeks later, a catalog, countless fb, twitter and blog schemes I’m wondering about my sanity. Why wouldn’t I have asked for help? Well, because what if I got the job and it sucked? But, what if someone else gets the job and it doesn’t suck at all?
So, I guess I wait, wonder if someone is more clever than I, well, no I would never really wonder that—but there is something going on and I don’t know what it is and I guess that’s really what I don’t like about the whole thing. I work better with a clear understanding of the happs, my turn at the wheel or at the very least a polite never mind and thanks for playing along.
I do many things well, but waiting is not one of them. They say patience is a virtue, but then I’ve never been called virtuous. Make a decision already. Olive needs to get on to her next scheme.
Props to Sam The Bike Boy for the Conway Twitty, enjoy the Doris.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Casey's TPS Reports
Fake Left, Go Right.
The most mundane is an opportunity for entertainment if you swerve from convention, even if ever so slightly.
A co-worker has to turn in a daily summary, my job's version of Office Space's TPS report. People get fussy if it's not done properly and on time but really it's only a bunch of numbers that could be shouted across the room (no inside voices here, trust me)
Casey, who's predisposed to a nom de plume since that isn't his given name, does his TPS, mostly on time but always with a twist; they're never officially submitted by Casey. Here is a list of some of this recent aliases.
El Chupacabra
David Wilcock (Google it if you don't know)
Carmen Sandiego
Kim Jong-il revised by Cheech & Chong (submitted 4/20 - Google the date if if you need some 'splainin)
Keith Urban
http://www.greatwhatsit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/wager.jpg
Pork Chop
The most mundane is an opportunity for entertainment if you swerve from convention, even if ever so slightly.
A co-worker has to turn in a daily summary, my job's version of Office Space's TPS report. People get fussy if it's not done properly and on time but really it's only a bunch of numbers that could be shouted across the room (no inside voices here, trust me)
Casey, who's predisposed to a nom de plume since that isn't his given name, does his TPS, mostly on time but always with a twist; they're never officially submitted by Casey. Here is a list of some of this recent aliases.
El Chupacabra
David Wilcock (Google it if you don't know)
Carmen Sandiego
Kim Jong-il revised by Cheech & Chong (submitted 4/20 - Google the date if if you need some 'splainin)
Keith Urban
http://www.greatwhatsit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/wager.jpg
Pork Chop
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Just A Regular Morning
This music best served with a bonfire and Super Tuscan.
My desk neighbor and guy usually considered to be my boss is listening to Lucero really loud. I think I'd enjoy it more on a chilly, starry night with a blazing bonfire and a healthy pour of red.
Lucero is in an unholy mashup with the Aloe Blacc that is playing everywhere else. The sum is most definitely less than its parts.
Today is super-powered, the vibe at work is like the Friday before spring vacation in middle school. I can't figure out why but it's been like that since we struggled through our morning meeting which was sidetracked by sneaky and frequent goggles and a big debate if 6's look like 8-bit scorpions.
Madness is found everywhere.
My desk neighbor and guy usually considered to be my boss is listening to Lucero really loud. I think I'd enjoy it more on a chilly, starry night with a blazing bonfire and a healthy pour of red.
Lucero is in an unholy mashup with the Aloe Blacc that is playing everywhere else. The sum is most definitely less than its parts.
Today is super-powered, the vibe at work is like the Friday before spring vacation in middle school. I can't figure out why but it's been like that since we struggled through our morning meeting which was sidetracked by sneaky and frequent goggles and a big debate if 6's look like 8-bit scorpions.
Madness is found everywhere.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
This Week In Me
Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You. --Anonymous
Okay, I started writing this in Word and frankly that scares the hell out of me. I prefer to do everything; notes, drawings, letters and even spreadsheets in Excel. That's crazy, I know. Well, maybe not crazy but certainly a little odd. Odd is good, unless you can't open Excel.
There are three things to note in the quest for the sweet, sweet Moosejaw Madness Maker job: some guy is riding his bike 83.7 miles from Lansing to the Moosejaw Mothership, a chick is sleeping in a tent in her backyard and another guy is peppering Moosejaw's facebook with posts asking them to hire him.
What do I have to say about that? 1- Use Body Glide, 2- Go Further 3- Been There, Done That
Me? I'm hanging back and watching it unfold. Yeah, right.
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